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 (Ausaf)The ideal choice! Naseerullah Babar, godfather of the Taliban, has a tendency to jump into bed with the wrong political companions. Rumour has it, he was used to 'negotiate' with the Taliban leadership. If he was, he was the ideal choice. If he was not, he should have been. He is not to be found in Peshawar. Is he in Kabul lecturing Mulla Omar or is he in Dubai conferring with his party boss? (Cjee) Anticipating ransom opportunity... "The decision to support America
under pressure is one of the military leadership and not the decision of
the Army as an institution. The nation will never accept. Such a decision
by an employee of the state has no validity. If Mulla
Omar gives a call for jihad the Islamic world
will support it. America's chocolate and cream soldiers cannot compete
with the battle-hardened Afghans. Afghans are happy that the Americans
are coming because they can take them prisoner and use them as hostages."
(Lt.Gen. Rtd. Hamid Gul)
He claimed that Leghari had told him that he, Asif, was possessed of great qualities. Asif said he had forgiven Nawaz Sharif because he was a political rival, but he could not forgive Leghari because he had betrayed a friendship. (DN) Pious President of Indonesia Wahid comes to Pakistan and meets our pious President Rafiq Tarar. During his visit he sees all of the clocks on the walls going at different speeds. He looks at President Tarar and asks, "What are all of these clocks for and are they all going at different speeds for any reason?" Tarar replies, "These clocks are for everyone in our politics and everytime they do something foolish or illegal the hands move." Wahid asks Tarar "Where are Pakistani cabinet members’ clocks?" He looks at Wahid and says, "I use those clocks for fans in various rooms!" 
The Chief said, "Okay. In the
beginning I created the heavens and the earth...."
Waiting for Nawaz Sharif, outside a Jeddah mosque, Kulsum Nawaz was drinking Coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink. She took it out of the Coke.The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died. The baby fly opened its eyes,looked at Kulsum and said,"Maaa!"  .
She asked the baby fly, "Mein tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tum ney mujhe maa kyoon kaha?" 
The fly replied,"Kyoon keh maine tumhari Coke se janam liya hai".  .
(M.A.)
Ayub Khan lost Kashmir, (P.ZAIN-Lahore)
"I've decided that to raise my position I must lower my standards." (Mian Azhar) The 'PM' during a cabinet meeting asked one of his ministers, " If you were to give a politician an orange , how would you go about it?" The Minister replied, "Here's an orange." "No! No! Talk carefully and when bloody politicians are around always think like a lawyer!" the outraged 'PM' then put the same question before Sharifuddin Pirzada. Pirzada replied, "Okay. I'd tell
him 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular,
Asif Ali Zardari comes out of Supreme Court. 
The Pakistani cricket team became tunn (drunk) the night before the Duneden match and just could not bowl straight or field in the fifth one-day decider against New Zealand. The players drank themselves stupid in their hotel, but two of them, who were most guilty of wide balls and misfields the next day, drank themselves blind and had to be carried into the hotel from the roadside. (A news story) Q:"Mush" and "Mian" are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved? A:The nation. the Chief Executive's office:
Here is a list of the duty-free cars imported on Zia's orders from July 1977 to March 1985. The list was placed before the Senate on August 9, 1985 by Finance Minister Dr Mahboobul Haq in response to a question by senator Tariq Chaudhry. The list was also published in 1995 in the book "General Zia Kay Siaasi Tazadaat" by Khalid Kashmiri (pages 187-189). The following civil and military officers were allowed the duty-free import of expensive luxury Mercedes 2400/2800 cars: Lt. General Fazal Haq (three times), Air Marshal Rahim Khan, Admiral Karamat Niazi, General Muhammad Sharif, Lt. General Sawar Khan, Vice Admiral A.R. Khan, Admiral Sharif, Lt. General Rahimuddin Khan, General Muhammad Iqbal Khan, General Muhammad Musa, Lt. General S.M. Abbasi, Lt. General Gul Hasan, Air Marshal Nur Khan, Lt. General Abdul Hamid Khan, Vice Admiral HMS Chaudhry, Vice Admiral Muzaffar Hasan, Air Chief Marshal Muhammad Anwar Shamim, Lt. General Rahimuddin (two times), Maj. General Abdur Rahman Khan, Nawaz Abbasi, and Lt. General Jehandad Khan, (two times, Honda Accord and Toyota Crown). Editor of weekly Zindagi, Mujibur Rehman Shami, had once written that Justice (Rted) Sardar Iqbal's appointment to the chief justiceship of the Lahore High Court was an insult to the Court. After a contempt notice was served Mr Shami apologised. Later when Sardar Iqbal became federal ombudsman, Shami wrote that Sardar Iqbal's appointment had done honour to the office of the ombudsman. (Pk) Here is the real solution of Kashmir: Pakistan declaring war on India, taking Jammu and Kashmir by force, while the nuclear deterrence kept the conflict limited. This would be a reprisal for what happened in East Pakistan in 1971, only this time Pakistan would get 700,000 Indian troops as POWs as against 93,000 Pakistani troops taken by India. (A retired colonel wrote in daily Pakistan)
Allama Tahirul Qadiri said in Lahore that Pakistan needed a real doctor while its two former rulers, Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto, were mere dispensers. He said he was the real doctor who will dispense the bitter medicine. (Pk) He (you know who) decided to sign up for social security benefits. He goes to the London Social Security Office. The clerk asks for proof of age. He reaches for his wallet. Embarrassed, the man realizes that he left his wallet home. The clerk is very re-assuring, "Don't worry, just open your shirt. If your chest hair is gray, you qualify." He opens his shirt and was signed up for his benefits. Upon arriving home, he happily tells the story to his newly-wed wife. She looked at him, smiled, and said, "Too bad they didn't ask you to drop your ........! You'd qualify for disability too!" (joke) |
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