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UPDATED: February,2001 |
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TARIQ MAHMOOD MIAN |
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...a new meeeaaawooooo to Musharraf Government..... It is an acknowledged fact that when something here is termed 'grand' it is anything but grand, as was the case with the 'Grand Alliance' (GDA) formed by the riff-raff of the opposition. The same applies to the term 'democratic' when used by both the government and the opposition. The Grand Alliance was made up of tried, discredited and failed men, most of them corrupt, most toothless, one of whom had an attendant to carry his hookah, and another an attendant to carry the rubber ring upon which he enthroned himself. Now they are up to Restore Democracy through another Alliance (RDA). (A. C.) NAWAZ:"Kulsum! I asked for alu paratha but i find no potatoes in it" KULSUM:"What's in a name Butt Sahib! If you ask for Kashmir pulau, will you expect to find Kashmir in it?" AGAINST THE MILITARY RULE: 27.02.2001 
 The lawyers torched the copies of five judgements of the Supreme Court as a mark of protest, saying that these were the root causes of the present crisis. The judgments included Moulvi Tameezuddin Case, Dossa Case, Asma Jilani Case, Nusrat Bhutto Case and the judgement made by the Supreme Court on 12th May, 2000.
THE SPEECH MADE EASY
A reporter from a Boston TV station subjected George W. Bush to a quiz on foreign policy minutiae, asking Bush if he could name the leaders of four, hot-spot nations. Bush was able to identify the leader of Taiwan but failed to correctly name the leaders of Pakistan, India and Chechnya. Defending himself from charges of
unfairness in his choice of questions raised after the quiz, the reporter
who asked the questions editorialized, "how can we expect this guy to squander
our military resources in faraway little-known conflicts if the guy can't
even name the leaders of those countries."
Q: What does Madonna lack, the Pope has but doesn't use, but Nawaz Sharif and Shehbaz Sharif use all the time? A:A last name. Tahirul Qadri told his party members, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my lecture, I want you all to read Chapter 17 of my latest book." The following Friday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, Allama Qadri asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read chapter 17. Every hand went up. Qadri smiled and said, "That book has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." (Joke)
After only 15 months: "I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe." (thought)
At the height of Nawaz Sharif helicopter corruption trial inside Attock Fort, the prosecuting attorney general Farooq Adam attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five million rupees from Nawaz Sharif to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five million rupees to compromise this case?" Farooq Adam repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you." (Joke)
NADRA used this ' Keyboard' to prepare New Electoral Rolls. Wow.... Pakistan's most fearful religious leader Maulana Akram Awan has gathered thousands of people in Manara, Chakwal, for a march on Islamabad demanding enforcement of Islam by 7th of March,2000. They all offered their Eid parayer over there. He says that his murids have decided not to return home till Islam had been imposed. Maulana Akram of Tanzimul Ikhwan party is the biggest Naqshbandi leader in Pakistan and derives his power from within the army where his influence in the lower echelons is unparalleled. Ex-senator Tariq Chaudhry, who represented the army's interests in politics, rejoined Maulana Akram's party after ascertaining that the maulana was once again carrying out the army's orders against General Musharraf's present government. He had quit under Nawaz Sharif because the maulana had sided with the Muslim League government against General Musharraf. According to daily Pakistan, he accused the generals in power of acquiring plots and taking money from the IMF. According to Nawa-e-Waqt, he vowed that 300,000 of his disciples were ready to give up their lives,. followed by three crores more. Ex-governor Sindh Air Marshal (Retd) Azim Daudpota said that while he was governor the real orders were given by corps commander Karachi. He said General Musharraf got put off when Nawaz Sharif was filmed closely during trial by the BBC. One rangers' employee saluted Nawaz Sharif who in turn hugged him, which was run by the BBC repeatedly. (D.pak) Capturing PML House Islamabad 
 NO ANSWER PLEASE: If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? Benazir Bhutto, getting on in years and very depressed due to prolonged imprisonment of Asif Zardari, was planning her future and confided in a friend, "If one of us dies, I'm moving to Paris." (joke) "If voting could really change things, it would be illegal." (Gen. Tanveer Naqvi)
Q: "Why dont sharks eat clowns?" Nawaz Sharif:"Because they taste funny!!" Q: ". How do you measure Tahirul Qadri's intelligence?" Imran Khan"By sticking a tyre pressure gauge in his ear." Sardar Qayyum of Azad Kashmir's Muslim Conference said that after the government of jarnail (generals) there will come a government of karnail (colonels). (D.PKN) A grade 21 officer died and his wife called the newspaper to put in the death notice. She was told she had a choice of fifteen words for Rs.350 or seven words for Rs.200. She chose the seven-word notice and thought for a minute. "Najeeb Imrani is dead," she began. The clerk gently reminded her that she had a total of seven words. Thinking again, she added, "BMW for
sale."
Two Lahore newspapers, Khabrain and Pakistan, attacked each other, accusing the editors of ill-gotten wealth. Khabrain first printed a column accusing Pakistan editor Mujibur Rehman Shami and Urdu Digest editor Altaf Hassan Qureshi of becoming 'big' in short order, then alleged that Shami had acquired under-hand funds from the Nawaz Sharif government. Pakistan rejoined by accusing Khabrain editor Zia Shahid of cheating share-holders of the paper and acquiring the new premises for his paper through dubious means. Interestingly present rulers are all the way happy with all of them. Daily Jang columnist, Nazir Naji, took Rs 20 lakh from the PM's discretionary which he was refusing to pay back to the army. Naji was Nawaz Sharif's speech-writer but got out of trouble after October 1999 by providing information against Nawaz Sharif, writing columns like waada-muaf gawah (state witness) which were revelatory of the wrong advice taken by Nawaz Sharif. (Khabrain) |
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Bush
Stumbles on Foreign Policy Question