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 A turkey was chatting with a bull."I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit
might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
When not sure of visiting Pakistan 
wedding. They invited the artiste Mohammad Ali Shaiki and Co to sing at the occasion. Mr Shaiki was an honoured guest of the family and the hosts were solicitous to a fault. They were forever fussing over Mr Shaiki, "Mohammad Ali bhai this", "Mohammad Ali bhai that". After a couple of days of this politeness, Mohammad Ali Shaiki was just rousing himself from a good night's sleep when he heard the host calling out to his cook,  "We in the politics know that behind every successful leader stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife." Journalist Elizabeth Grice, writing in a British newspaper says of "poor" Benazir that she "recently tried to buy a beautiful house in Osterley, west London, with 'lots of bedrooms' for her family, but was gazumped, so she is temporarily renting a place in Queens' Gate, Kensington, near her sister Sanam". Grice goes on to say that BB's children "are being educated privately at a day school and are left in the care of a nanny during their mother's worldwide travels". "When in a third-world country someone steals your government, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Q. How do you measure an imported minister's intelligence? A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear. Q. What do you do when an imported minister throws a pin at you? A. Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth. Suspende MNA, Haji Boota from Multan had priced his house at Rs 500 and plots of land at Rs 1000 each in his electoral affidavit. The statement was 'accepted' by Section Office Hafiz Abdul Majid of the Section Commission. Haji Boota was also a defaulter of Rs 7 crore.  Hats
off to the game watcher who daringly apprehended Imran
Khan and his companions for illegally hunting
partridges in Chakwal. The 'Mighty Khan' who has long claimed to champion
the cause of the poor, once again committed a petty crime and made good
his escape. How many Sita Whites need
surface or partridges need be slaughtered before he is brought to book?
(Farhat A. Malik)
Petroleum prices have been increased in the best interest of the country, says the minister for petroleum. CTBT will be signed keeping in mind the best interest of the country, says the minister for foreign affairs. The way the hijacking case was handled was in the best interest of the country, says the CE's adviser on information. Wrongful arrests, maltreatment and lack of the process in the best interest of the country, says the NAB chief. The way the economy is sinking is in the best interest of the country, says the minister for finance. Being put behind bars is in the best interest of health, says Mr Daudpota. Country-wide ban on all political meetings, strikes and processions has been imposed in the best interest of the country, says many high-up in the government. The promulgation of PCO was in the best interest of the country, says the chief executive. It remains now for the ex-chief justice of Pakistan to say that his resignation was in the best interest of the country. (KHURSHID ANWER) Raja Qureshi: Cartoons. Ex-chairman of Academy of Letters, renowned Urdu columnist and speech-writer of Nawaz Sharif, Nazir Naji, was beaten up by the husband of his niece in Lahore. She had complained to him that her husband Wajid Ismail had relations with other women, whereafter Nazir Naji, in a state of drunkenness, called 'tunn' in Urdu, went to beat up the man, but was unfortunately beaten up by the erring husband instead. (Kh) President Rafiq Tarar became unwell after eating a funny cake in Faisalabad. After eating it he at once spat it out and cleaned his mouth with a tissue to get rid of the 'poison'. Nawaz Sharif sentenced to Life Imprisonment: Others Acquitted 
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