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Uploaded October,1999 |
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TARIQ MAHMOOD MIAN |
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Ms Bhutto said in London that Nawaz Sharif and Osama bin Laden had conspired against her. Osama funded the ISI and, in 1993, Ramzi Yusuf had tried to kill her to remove her government from power, she said. ....Perhaps now Uncle Sam, once again safeguarding Bhutto family interests, is trying to eliminate Bin Laden and Ramzi. Just as he revenged the 'murder' of her father. Nawaz Sharif and Ishaq Dar were on their private plane and Sharif said,"Dar Sahib I want to throw a Rs.1000 currency note out of the window and make one person happy." Dar replies, "why don't you throw 10 - 10 rupee bills out and make 100 people happy?" Then their pilot says,"Why don't you both jump out the window and make everyone happy!" 
 A Lahore weekly newspaper reported that Jamil Rana, a former cricketing pal of Nawaz Sharif, was part of the 'famous 100 plus delegation’ which visited USA the 5-star way. Apparently, on the eve of the grand departure, whilst the Prime Minister was holding court in Lahore, Rana, in his pristine Punjabi, asked his old pal, 
(Oh great king, take me too along with you sometime). Done,
said the king. Get your passport to my military
secretary and be at Chaklala at dawn. Rana rushed to his suburban Santnagar
home, retrieved his passport, got himself to the airport on time, and off
he went on the state-funded picnic.
Khabrain magazine carried an interview in which ex-PM of Azad Kashmir Sardar Abdul Qayyum said that former 'liberal' prime minister of Pakistan Hosein Shaheed Suhrawardi used to walk naked into the gathering of ulema. He said Suhrawardi had no commitment to Kashmir and 'didn't want to endanger Pakistan for the sake of Kashmir'. Pakistan Embassy in Washington, New York and Los Angeles is spending $ 73281 per month as House Rent for only 26 staff members. The information about such a high rent for these members of the diplomatic staff was given by the Ex-Minister for Foreign Affairs Sartaj Aziz in National Assembly . According to details Amjad Hussain Sial, Counsellor New York is spending $ 4975 per month on house rent, Moinul Haq, First Secretary $ 5190, Salman Bashir, Press Counsellor $5790 and Saqib Mahmood Vice Consul $ 4100 per month. Tariq Azizuddin, Consul General in Los Angeles spends $ 6500 per month. Looking at the political behaviour of Farooq Leghari’s Millat Party its is obvious that very soon you’ll hear…. ”A ‘Millattian’ is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run". A man parks his car in front of the main entrance of the Parliament House. Immediately, a member of the security team goes after him yelling: Sir! Sir! You cannot park in here! All the Assembly members are about to go out! The man replies:
A daily Jang column revealed that in a recently ended course of the Federal Civil Services Academy in Lahore the sons of a number of highly placed civil servants had passed out with good positions in the DMG (Administration) Group. The son of Saeed Mehdi, the most important officer in the PM Secretariat, Amir Ali Ahmad, got second position. The son of the boss of the Academy,Parvez Masood, Muhammad Umar Masood, also passed in good position. Other civil servants and prominent people whose sons were in the course were: Major-General Ghulam Rabbani, former federal secretary Sultan Hameed, Chief Engineer Javed Iqbal, Engineer Chaudhry Bashir Tarar (daughter), Chairman Public Services Commission General Mumtaz Gul, former IG Balochistan Gohar Zaman, and Engineer Muhammad Saeed. HUBCO Chairman ALIREZA after daylong 'Hubco-negotiations' takes Senator SAIFUR REHMAN with him on a hunting spree. They hunted all day long and then, having got tired, went to sleep in Alireza’s tent. ALIREZA wakes up deep at night, wakes SAIFUR and says "Saif, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? You claim to be a Sherlock Holmes of Pakistani politics, What can you deduce from it?" "Well, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny." "Elementary, Saif: it just
means that somebody has stolen our tent."
Q:"Whom are you working for?" HUMAYUN AKHTAR:"Same people. My wife and a few kids." Q:"I heard you have a cat that can say her own name." NASREEN JALEEL: "Yes. Meow." Q:"What book do you like the best?" BENAZIR BHUTTO:"My husband's cheque book." Former Chief Justice Sajjad Ali Shah has locked horns with the Estate Office Karachi and the Ministry of Housing and Works over unauthorised occupation of official residence in Bath Island Karachi by the former Chief Justice. The posh bungalow situated in prime location is worth several thousand in rent value and the former Chief Justice is illegally occupying it without payment of any rent at all. Justice Shah had to vacate the bungalow on 15 April, 1998 but refused to abide by the law. Official communications by the Estate Office have since been ignored by him while the new allottee of the bungalow is pressing the Estate Office and the Ministry of Housing and Works to get the house vacated as per law, sources said. The sources regretted that the former Chief Justice is committing an unlawful act illegally occupying the government house. The house has been allotted to Collector Customs. Q: "Do you feel like a cup of coffee?" KHAWAJA ASIF:"Of course not; do I look like one?" KULSUM:"I thought you were on diet?" NAWAZ:"I am. But I've had my diet and now I'm having my dinner." Q:"Should women have children after 35?" ABIDA HUSSAIN:"No, 35 children are enough!" READERS' TOP TEN CHOICE for Yaum-e-Takbeer 1. Ek Lohaar Ki
REEMA:"Are you coming for my 18th birthday party?" SHEIKH RASEED:"No, I went for that seven years ago." Q:"Is your husband a bookworm?" MRS. AITAZAZ AHSAN:"No, just an ordinary one." Q:"Can you do anything that other people can't?" JAMILUDDIN AALI: "Sure, I can read my handwriting." Nawaz Sharif finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie gives Nawaz one wish. Nawaz pulls out a map of Karachi with many red marks on it and says "I'd like peace in these areas." The genie says "You are asking too much of me. Even I can't bring peace to all these areas." Nawaz says "Ok. Well just make Raiwind beautiful." And the genie thinks for a while and then says "Let me see that map
again."---
 Former prime minister's relative Yusuf Aziz told a BBC interviewer that had MianNawaz Sharif not been a prime minister he could easily be a singer and a pianist. He said he used to sing film songs with him in their college days. If you've been reading Urdu newspaper these days, you know the big theme of the negotiations among various Muslim Leagues is diversity -- billionaires getting together with simple millionaires and settling their differences. Retired Urdu teacher and family friend of Nawaz Sharif,MashkoorHussainYad says that Nawaz Sharif used to smile constantly in his Government College Lahore class. On being asked, he (Nawaz) said his face was made like that. Mr. Yad had been appointed by Nawaz Sharif to the Iqbal chair at Tehran University.. ...And also awarded Hilal-e-Imtiaz for his literary services. During recent most popular public meetings of all the political parties, speeches are limited to 10 minutes or 50 lies, whichever comes first. Pakistan Telecommunication chairman Nasim Mirza is drawing a salary of Rs 1.75 lakh. Our ousted prime minister had been entitled to a salary of Rs 22 thousand which he never pocketed. Pakistan and Telephones in Pakistan both are equally in a bad shape. Khabrain reported that the central criminal in the famous Mehran Bank scandal, Yunus Habib, has been sprung from jail by the jail authorities after serving only three years of his 14 years sentence. He was first let off on parole after which he travelled to Islamabad where he had 9 years of his sentence remitted. The paper said that he was rewarded for revealing damning evidence against Ms Bhutto and her husband. Senator Justice (Retd) Javed Iqbal, the son of Allama Iqbal says that once people lost their power of endurance they would descend to the life of the jungle. He said if Articles 62 and 63 were properly enforced only 10 people in the parliament would be able to save their seats on the basis of Islamic ideology. Do you know that terrorist Riaz Basra of Lashkar-e-Jhangvi fought the 1985 partyless elections and lost to Nawaz Sharif in Punjab. Later he was chief of the Khalid bin Walid unit of the mujahideen in Afghanistan. |
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