|
|
|
|
|
Laloo Bhai bihari
The hijacked Indian airplane was kept at Kandahar airport in Afghanistan.
Kandahar
in
Afghanistan is historically associated with Mahabharat (One of India's
great Epics). Kandahar was originally
GANDHAR, the kingdom of Prince
Shakuni, who was known for his cunning & stabbing in the back.
SOME FACTS: An insect falls into a mug of tea ! Englishman: throws the mug away and walks out. American: takes the insect out and drinks the tea. Chinese: eats the insect and throws the tea away. Israeli: sucks the tea from the insect before throwing the insect away and drinking the tea. Pakistani: accuses the
Indian of throwing the insect into his tea
Indian: accuses Pakistan of
helping the insect to infiltrate into the
The Egg There was once an Indian and a Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Pakistani owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Indian's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Indian pick up the egg. The Pakistani ran up to the Indian and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Indian disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Pakistani said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the face and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the face and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Indian agreed to this and so the Pakistani found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Indian and kicked as hard as he could in the face. The Indian fell to the floor clutching his jaw howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Indian stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Pakistani said, "Keep the damn egg!" COMPUTER VIRUSES MADE IN INDIA Better beware of them. 2. V.P.Singh Virus: This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. This virus is also known as social justice virus. 3. Sukh Ram Virus: This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and then executes them. 4. Tamizhkudimagan Virus: This virus makes sure that only programs written in the Tamil Language are executed. 5. Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programs that were written
by vegetarians.
7. K.P.S. Gill Virus: Only ladies need to worry about this virus. Every now and then the users get a whack, you know where. 8. Phoolan Devi Virus: This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU's birthday. 9. Deve Gowda Virus: The main characteristic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all the processes at the same time. This virus services all the request for resources, and allocates them irrespective of whether they are available or not. 10. Jayalalitha Virus:
This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus family
grab as much of hard disk space as possible, while the main virus claims
that it is totally unaware of it. When everything stops working, this virus
blames the user for the whole chaos.
A customs agent stopped an old Kashmiri man who had just migrated to Pakistan from Indian-occupiedKashmir and asked him to open his two suitcases. In the first suitcase he found over a million Indian Rupees in old one Rupee bills. "Excuse me, sir" he asked the old gentleman, "where did you get all thismoney?" "Well, I'll tell you," the old man began, "for many years, I traveled all around India. I stopped at all of the public rest rooms in all the major cities; I went to New Delhi, then I went to Calcutta, then I went to Mumbai, then I went to Chennai. I went into all the stalls where the men were peeing and I say.... "Give me a Rupee for Kashmiri Mujaheedin ,or I'll cut off your testicles with my knife ! " "That's quite a story," the customs agent said, "what's in the second suitcase?" "Well, you know," said the old
Kashmiri
shaking
his head,... "not everyone likes to give..."
worry about it later. All the way to their destination, the Driver, who is a fairly good-hearted person despite his employer, is worried about the family who owned the pig and wondered how they`d react to discovering the pig, so when they arrived he asked Vajpayee whether he should drive back to the farm and let them know what happened. Vajpayee agrees before hurrying to the podium, and the Driver hurries back down the road. Four hours later, he was stumbling down the road, his arms full of gifts. Vajpayee in a rage demands to know what has happened to him, and the Driver explains, "I did what I thought was right. I went to the farm and knocked on the door and gave them the news. They gave me these gifts, fed me the best food I`ve ever tasted and then sent me on my way." Vajpayee
seemed confused by this and asks his Driver, "Well, what exactly
did you tell them?" To which the Driver replied "I really can`t
understand it either. All I did was tell them, ‘I`m Vajpayee`s Driver,
and I have killed the pig’.”
|
|