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PAKISTAN PUNCH
Editor: 
TARIQ MAHMOOD MIAN
CONTENTS
December, 2005 (2008 UPDATES COMING SOON)

Awarded BEST POLITICAL SITE OF THE DAY on 07.01.2002

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“I am a firm believer in the freedom of the press”.
(Gen Pervez Musharraf – October 17,1999)
P-FIRST


CUBAN PRESIDENT FIDAL CASTRO
& PRES. MUSHARRAF AT NAM CONFERENCE



PTV Breaking News 

We just received some sad news... 
************ 
ISLAMABAD -- A tragic and blazing fire has destroyed the personal library
of Prime Minister Zafrullah Jamali. Both of his books have been lost. 
The Prime Minister is reportedly devastated; apparently, he had not finished colouring the second one.                                               (M.Aziz)





our graduate assemblies..... 
ITS ALL A FAMILY AFFAIR

Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain and 
Chaudhry Wajahat Hussain , two sons of late Chaudhry Zahoor Elahi, have been elected to the National Assembly from two Gujrat constituencies. Their niece
Eman Naseem, daughter of 
Maj Tahir Sadiq (retired), Nazim of Attock District, has also won elections on general seats from NA-59. 
Tanzeela Aamir Cheema, who has been elected to the N. Assembly on women reserved seat, is daughter of Chaudhry Tajammal Hussain, first cousin of Chaudhry Shujaat. She is also daughter-in- law of 
Chaudhry Anwar Ali Cheema , another member of National Assembly from Sargodha  (NA- 67) and wife of Anwar Sultan Cheema, who has also been elected member of Punjab Assembly. 
Chaudhry Shufaat Hussain , younger brother of Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain, was Nazim of Gujrat District and his cousin
Chaudhry Pervaz Elahi, has become chief minister of Punjab. 


Sardar Farooq Ahmad Khan Leghari, former president of Pakistan. and his son
Awais Ahmed Khan Leghari were elected from NA-172 and NA-173,  and Sardar Farooq's first cousin
Sardar Mohammad Jaffar Khan Leghari, won elections from NA-174 under the banner of the National Alliance. 
Meena Ehsan Leghari, wife of Sardar Jaffar, and 
Ayla Malik, niece of Sardar Farooq Leghari, have been accommodated on women reserved seats. Whereas,
Sumaira Malik, sister of Ayla Malik, has won elections from NA-69 from the platform of National alliance. 
The wife of Farooq Leghari belongs to the family of 
Aftab Ahmad Sherpao, who is also a member of National Assembly and federal minister for water and power. 
Sikandar Sherpao, son of Aftab Ahmad Sherpao, is member of the NWFP assembly.

Gohar Ayub, son of late Gen Ayub Khan and former speaker of National Assembly, who was out of the elections contest due to educational qualification condition, helped his wife
Zeb Gohar and son
Omar Ayub Khan win National Assembly seats.It may be mentioned here that 
Gohar Ayub, said to have passed his graduation recently, is likely to get a ticket for the upcoming senate's election. 

Col Ghulam Serwar Cheema (retired), another central leader of the PML-Q and an aspirant for Senate's ticket, had his daughter
Dr Saira Tariq, elected to the National Assembly on women reserved seats. 

Jamiat Ulema-i-Islam chief and general secretary of MMA, 
Maulana Fazlur Rehman, also a winner of two National Assembly seats, has three sisters-in-law elected to national and provincial assemblies. 
Shahida Akhtar Ali and 
Nayyer Sultana are members of the National Assembly, and 
Rehana Ismail is member of NWFP assembly on women reserved seats.

Mohammad Azeem Chaudhry, organizing secretary of the PLM-Q, is contesting senate elections, had his wife, Asiya Azeem, elected to the National Assembly on the reserved seats for women. 

Rahila Yahya, member of National Assembly on women reserved seats, is wife of 
Yahya Munnawar, political secretary to Prime Minister Jamali. 

Makhdoom Mohammad Javaid Hashmi, acting president of the PML-N, who won the election to the National Assembly from NA-123, also had his wife
Maimona Hashmi, elected as member of the parliament on women reserved seats. 

Qazi Hussain Ahmed, Amir of Jamaat-i-Islami, who had also won on two National Assembly seats from the platform of Muttahida Majlis-i-Ammal, got his daughter
Samia Raheel Qazi, elected on women reserved seats as member of National Assembly.  (K.Ghumman /D)


A President who had a reputation for holding lengthy press conferences noticed a journalist get up and leave for part of his speech. When he came back, the President asked him where he had gone.
“To get a haircut,” the journalist said.
“But,” said the President , “why didn’t you do that before my press conference?”
“Because,” the journalist replied, “I didn’t need one then.”

One evening two bachelor MNAs staying at an Islamabad hostel were talking over dinner. The conversation drifted from politics to woman assembly members and then to cooking. 
“I got a cookbook once,” said the first graduate MNA, “But I couldn’t do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy stuff in it , huh?” asked the second MNA.
“You said it,”  the first MNA replied, nodding. " Every one of those recipes began the same way: 'Take a clean plate……'"




President Bush about his friend General Musharraf:
"He's still tight with us in the war against terror and that's what I appreciate. He understands that we've got to keep Al Qaeda on the run...and I appreciate his strong support." 

Nawaz Sharif:
"Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald."
.....election fools


The country's permanent finance minister is the IMF. Its commander-in-chief for the next five or seven or, God willing, ten years will be Musharraf. So the fools who took part in the election, what were they running for? 

   sheikh rasheed's election campaign...........

.....oh leghari
"Farooq Ahmad Khan Leghari is the biggest thief in Pakistan because he even stole the carpets from the presidency. There are 20 cases of corruption against him pending with NAB."                                                                    (Munir Khan - Dy. Secretary ARD)

Last man standing
Who is to be blamed for the World Cup debacle? Gen Tauqir Zia certainly thinks it was not his fault.The PCB boss seems to be living in a fool's paradise where everybody but him is at blame.

As we look back at the past three years, one is reminded of the sepia-toned movie, Last Man Standing. In the movie, actor Bruce Willis plays the role of a man brought in to support one of the warring factions of a desert town. In the end, he is the left as the only survivor of an orgy of killing on both sides. 

Indeed the scenario of the international season gone by, has left only General Tauqir Zia standing. Gone are the days when the captain went down with the ship. (S. Alvi/D) 


The reformers who walked into the political arena three years ago, vowing to turn the country's fortunes around, can plume themselves on some notable successes. Politicizing their own institution, the military, they are well on their way to depoliticizing the country. 
    (Ustad Daman - Ayaz Amir)                               

IMRAN KHAN:
"There is light at the end of the tunnel for Chaudhris of Gujrat, but it's that of an oncoming train which will run them over".

NAWAZ SHARIF - WHEN IN PRISION


PML (Q):
"Benazir look like a crippled cobra whose fangs are clipped."
The only good thing about his Millat Party is the much-photographed face of its Islamabad activist,
Ms Ayla Malik. Why can't the other political parties recruit similarly bright-looking cadres?



"Give me seven years and I'll change the complexion and culture of politics in Pakistan," said Musharraf to an applauding 'jam-packed' crowd of Pakistani-American 'elite' assembled in the city of New York to hear him speak for 80 minutes. 
According to a news report, this was the same elite crowd which had been as equally generous with its applause to Benazir B hutto and Nawaz Sharif in 'yesteryear'.   (AK)

....liberal!!!!
The Pakistan government bared Miss Pakistan Neelam Noorani from using the country's name in the Miss International Beauty Pageant in Tokyo. Expressing shock 
over Miss Noorani taking part in the contest, Tariq Janjua,
the Secretary Culture, Sports and Tourism  said that the government had nothing to do with "this shameful development."

Its a fast changing scenario
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On May 16,1994 renowned journalist Kamran Khan met former Prime minister Nawaz Sharif at his Model Town house. After lunch, Nawaz brought up the subject of how Gen.Aslam Beg early in 1991 had sought a meeting with him (then prime minister) to which he brought Major-General Asad Durrani, chief of the ISI. They told him that funds for vital on-going covert operations were drying up, how they had a foolproof plan to generate money by dealing in drugs. They asked for his permission to associate themselves with the drug trade, assuring him of full secrecy and no chance of any trail leading back to them. 

Nawaz remarked that on hearing this he felt the roof had caved in on him. He told them he could have nothing to do with such a plan and refused to give his approval.       (D)




During the Mehrangate investigations of 1993 which led up to the Supreme Court case, Younas Habib (YH) of HBL/MBL, as per his statement filed in court (recorded in Karachi under section 161 Cr.P.C), disclosed that the following political and other pay-offs were made between 1991 and 1994: 
General Mirza Aslam Beg Rs 140 million; 
Jam Sadiq Ali (the then chief minister of Sindh) Rs 70 million; 
Altaf Hussain (MQM) Rs 20 million, 
Advocate Yousaf Memon ( for disbursement to Javed Hashmi, MNA, and others) Rs.50 million; 
Jam Sadiq Ali Rs 150 million; 
Liaquat Jatoi Rs .01 million;chief minister of Sindh, through Imtiaz Sheikh Rs 12 million; 
Afaq of the MQM Rs 0.5 million; 
Ajmal Khan, a former federal minister, Rs 1.4 million; 
Nawaz Sharif, former prime minister, Rs 3.5 million; 
Dost Mohammad Faizi Rs 1 million; 
Jam Haider Rs 2 million; 
Jam Mashooq Rs 3 million; 
Adnan, son of Sartaj Aziz, Rs 1 million; 
Sardar Farooq Leghari 12/12/93 (payment set/off) Rs 30 million - 6/1/94 Rs 2.0856 million - 19/3/94 Rs 1.92 million." 
More to this:
Jamaat-i-Islami Rs 5 million; 
Altaf Hussain Qureshi and Mustafa Sadiq Rs 0.5 million; 
Arbab Ghulam Aftab Rs 0.3 million; 
Pir Noor Mohammad Shah Rs 0.3 million; 
Arbab Faiz Mohammad Rs 0.3 million; 
Arbab Ghulam Habib Rs 0.2 million; 
Ismail Rahu Rs 0.2 million; 
Liaquat Baloch Rs 1.5 million; 
Jam Yusuf Rs 0.75 million; 
Nadir Magsi Rs 1 million; 
Ghulam Ali Nizamani Rs 0.3 million; 
Ali Akbar Nizamani Rs 0.3 million. 

YH TT Peshawar A/C Sherpao For Election 5,00,000; 
Anwar Saifullah for MBL deposit 15,00,000; 
Farooq Leghari PO Issued 1,50,00,000. Another 1,50,00,000 paid through Bank. 

Lt General Rafaqat [GIK's election cell] 5.6 million, 
Mir Afzal 10 million, 
Ghulam Mustafa Jatoi 5 million, 
Jam Sadiq Ali 5 million, 
Mohammed Khan Junejo 2.5 million, 
Pir Pagaro2 million, 
Abdul Hafeez Pirzada 3 million, 
Yusuf Haroon5 million [he confirms having received this for Altaf Hussain of the MQM], 
Muzaffar Hussain Shah 0.3 million, 
Abida Hussain1 million, 
Humayun Marri 5.4 million & more... 

Naseerullah Babar also filed in court a copy of a bank account sheet headed "G/L Account. Activity Report. Account 12110101 G. Baig (sic.)" The column heads read "Transaction, Date, Particulars, Debit, Credit." The numbered transactions took place between October 23, 1991, and December 12, 1993. The first transaction listed was "Cash-P.O. Karachi Bar Association A/C Gen. Baig (sic.), debit, 5,05,680" (advocate Mirza Adil Beg, Aslam Beg's nephew, the then president of the KBA, confirms that the KBA received the money). 
In January 1992 USD 20,000 was sold @ 26.50 and 5,30,000 was credited to the account.

Thereafter all debits: 

Arshi c/o Gen. Baig (sic.) 2,90,000; 
Cash paid to Gen. Sahib 2,40,000; 
Cash Friends 1,00,000 [Aslam Beg's organization, FRIENDS, Foundation for Research on National Development and Security]; 
Cash TT to Yamin to pay Gen. Sahib 3,00,000; 
Cash TT to Yamin Habib 12,00,000 ; 
Cash Friends TT to Salim Khan 2,00,000 ;
Cash Towards Friends 5,00,000 ; 
Cash Asif Shah for Benglow 35,000 ; 
Cash Friends 1,00,000 ; 
Cash TT through Yamin for Friends 1,00.000 ; 
Cash paid to Fakhruddin G. Ebrahim 2,00,000 [he confirms having received the money from General Beg as fees and expenses for defending him in the contempt of court charge brought against him - PLD 1993 SC310] ; 
Cash paid through TT to Yamin for Friends ; 
Cash paid to Fakhruddin G Ebrahim 1,28,640 [he confirms receipt for fees/expenses for contempt case] ; 
Cash Guards at 11-A 10,500 ; 
Cash TT for USD 240,000 Fav. Riaz Malik to City Bank New York 68,76,000 ; 
Cash Friends 1,00,000; 
Cash Guards at 11-A 10,500 ; 
Cash Mjr. Kiyani 10,000; 
Cash mobile phone for Col. Mashadi 28,911 ; 
Cash TT fav. Qazi Iqbal and M Guddul 3,00,000 ; 
Cash deposited at Karachi A/C EC [Election Commission] 3,00,000 ; 
Cash Guards 24,000 ; 
Cash TT to Salim Khan 1,00,000."        (Courtesy A. Cowasjee)




Technical Notes From the Author:
These quips and graphics, which I gather for my comments from  electronic and print media , are not an absolute reflection of my personality nor do they convey the entire spectrum of my political posture. (I have stronger feelings on some issues than those that I express on this page.) I am not left-brain or right-brain dominant. (I'm just dominant) 
I've been told by my friends that I think and often speak from a centralized location in my posterior, whatever that means.

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